It could happen to you

Last winter I came to work on a Monday & brought my red zip-up hoodie from home (I took it home for the weekend to wash it).  Our bldg gets cold & I'm always cold anyway so I always wear a hoodie of some sort.  I hung the red one on my coat rack.  I was already wearing a different one.

Fast forward 2 or 3 days.  My work bff (wbff) came in my office.  She was cold.  She is almost NEVER cold...she wanted something warm to put on so I told her to put on my red hoodie. 

A few things you should know before I continue:  My wbff is old enough to be my mother (and yes, we joke about that).  We refer to a lot of people by alternate names that only we know.  We refer to the dept secretary as "your mother" when talking to each other.  We refer to our most hated co-worker as "your sister".  My wbff & I find a lot of things hysterical that no one else understands.  We are together all the time (in our defense, we work on a lot of the same projects).  Our boss calls us Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dumb or Before & After.  Last Halloween, we dressed alike and wore nametags.  She was Original.  I was Copy.  This is how we roll.  HOWEVER...like I said, old enough to be my mother.  So naturally, we do things a bit differently.  She's been married for forever, is putting a kid through college, blah blah blah.  I'm divorcing, seeing someone, have little kids, blah blah blah.  She has her routines, I have my routines.  She knows EVERYONE while I am anti-social (but I do have to say I love all the people (except "your sister") that I work with).

One other thing to keep in mind--our offices are directly across from a laboratory (research & development).  So there are A LOT of windows.  I can look over there at any given time & see some incredibly smart Labbie (my term, not theirs, haha) working with some chemicals....and I generally make faces at them or wave to them or whatever.  I joke about licking the glass (that's probably a lot funnier to me than you).

On with my story.

I tell wbff to put on my red hoodie.  She takes it off the coat rack.  Steps into the hallway & then goes to swing the hoodie around to put it on (remember the lab?  She's in front of the lab).  About that time, out of the corner of my eye, I see something fall from the red hoodie to the ground & she's beginning to walk away...doesn't see it fall.  I look down.  Well what do you know!  My sequined, g-string undies are now on proud display to every single Labbie that saw them fall.  I immediately jump up & made it to where they were in probably less than 3 steps.  About this time, wbff hears me come out of my office because taking less than 3 steps to get there was sort of loud.  She turns around just as I go to snatch them up.  Her eyes get huge.  I grab the undies.  She then yells "What was THAT?  WAS THAT YOUR UNDERWEAR??????"  I shove them in my pocket.  I say "shhhhhh!!!  The whole building doesn't need to know!"  And she's in so much shock that she then yells "That wasn't underwear!  That was an EYEPATCH!" (remember, old enough to be my mother).

I can no longer help it.  I burst into hysterical laughter.  The Labbies kinda stood there, not sure what to do.  Wbff is laughing hysterically.  She immediately turns to go up front & tell everyone in my department that my "Eyepatch for underwear" fell on the ground....my boss & "your mother" thought it was incredibly funny & "your mother" wanted to know why I would even own that kind of underwear....um, hello....single, maybe dating...I'm not wearing granny panties, that's for sure.

Today's lesson:  If you're going to dry your undies with your hoodies, make sure you use dryer sheets. 

**today's weird moment:  I just sent a "Text-a-Tip" to Crimestoppers.  Stand by for details.


  1. I'm laughing and aroused at the same time. I know. I know. That makes me creepy.

  2. LMAO, Copyboy!!!! And I'm glad to amuse you, Israel! :) I have a better one for tomorrow.