It's been awhile.

And I apologize.  I would blame the holidays or work or whatever but really, who cares?

So have I mentioned that I hate the holidays?  I truly wish I could pass out on November 1 & wake up March 1.  Yeah, I know....that's longer than the holiday season but there's a reason:  February.  I hate it, too.  Let me backtrack & start with Thanksgiving.  It's tolerable, for the most part.  Except that I loathe traveling.  His family is 4 fucking hours away (so is mine, but that's another story).  We had planned to stay home this year.  Then he says "this is the first year I've not spent Thanksgiving with my family."  Hello guilt (sort of).  Here's what got me about that--how does a 40yo man spend EVERY Thanksgiving with family, specifically his mom?  How does that happen?  Oh yeah--you're all from the same tiny town & still live there.  Until his marriage dissolved & he left town.  So he makes that statement & guess what?  We drive 4 hours on Thanksgiving morning.  Lucky me.  But whatever....it's the holiday spirit, right?  RIGHT?????  So there's Thanksgiving.

Then Christmas.  I don't have my boys this year, they are in Florida with their dad.  Which is just fine with me.  And he & I agreed:  He'd focus on the small items on their lists & I'd get each of them their "big" present.  Whatever.  The only reason there is anything "Christmasy" going on here is because I have kids.  Otherwise, I wouldn't even give a crap.  I don't like shopping, I don't like crowds, I don't like the fact that gifts are a REQUIREMENT.    My dream Christmas?  I'd like to be in my garage (I have a woodstove in there), sitting at my table, on my laptop, drinking beer.  Merry Christmas.  Do you think that's going to happen?  NOPE.  Of course not.  We are going to drive FOUR FUCKING HOURS north.  Again.  Oh--and my sister called....in order to "get this family back together" she & my mom want me to come out to Mom's house & "talk".  Which is code for "gang up & yell".  So it's been deemed (jokingly) "My Intervention".  Which is occuring on Christmas Eve.  Merry Christmas.  I can see how this one is going to end.

New Years--just another day.  And this year, for New Year's Eve, I get to hang with three 7 yo's.  Yippee.  And then drive 2.5 hours to drop 2 of them off with their mother.  I wonder if I could somehow get out of that drive....hmmmmm.

So then there's January & I hate it because it's cold & windy but I can deal.  Fast-forward to February:  I hate it because of Valentine's Day--but not for the reasons you think.  I hate it because my dad died on Valentine's Day & his birthday was the next day.

So on March 1, I'll be a happy camper again. 

Anyway...my house has been child-free since last Wednesday evening.  My cleaning lady came on Thursday (don't judge, I figure that I work full-time & cook all the meals, I have NO PROBLEM paying someone to clean for me).  So my house is clean.  Still.  And Nickelodeon hasn't been on TV once.  And Friday night, we got to go to a friend's house for a while & have a few beers.  Saturday we ran errands & went to a Dirty Santa party Saturday night.  Then we slept & kinda puttered around all day Sunday.  Seriously.  How old is our youngest?  Seven?  So we have 11 more years until that kind of weekend can become "normal."

I envy my childless friends sometimes.

So there's my holiday rant.  I'm certain I'll have more ranting when we get back after this damn weekend.  Oh...I want to show you my Christmas Tree....which completely baffles everyone who has seen it:

Yes.  It's a Christmas Tree-Palm Tree.  And yes, it came with the lights.  But you should see it now.  Imagine red & silver tinsel along with some multi-colored lights & ornaments.  It kicks ass. 


  1. Bahaha! And I thought I had reason to be pissed when it was my sole responsibility to heave a pine tree on and off a car in a snow storm. You win.

  2. My views 100% Maybe I'm too cynical but when people play the same freaking songs and feel to need to buy shit, I say is that the "holiday spirit?" I argue that they should call Christmas Stress Day cuz that's what it causes.